Sunlit Virtue

I scowl at the sky,
One mellow sun glares, echoes
I take it back - quick.

Summer

Summer is a time of joy
For every little girl and boy
A time when fun matters the most
When Mother Nature is the host

Summer is an amazing season
I can't see a reason
Why summer could be dull or lame
Especially when each year is never the same

Three Metaphors for a Memory

Lonely wind, the damp leaves rustle,
Yet still no sign of a moonbeam.
I want to forget!

Trickling drops melt the silence,
But void is the centre.
I want to forget!

How long has it stayed in the centre,
Though the moon is never born?
I want to forget!

So the Earth sings to me,
And caresses my hair.
Have I forgotten or has it ended?

*

Hush the silence in a restless stream,
Piercing the longings of a hue.
Could he ever be forgotten?

Emptiness in the truth,
Yet drunk with invokings.
Could he have forgotten?

How so does the butterfly soar,
Strangely not performing a duet.
He must be forgotten.

Madness in evening aromas,
Will crush the petals that arrest time.
Still unforgotten...

*

Strike a voiceless bell,
In Avici all remains.
All forgotten.

Hear a resonant voice,
And all deaths alive.
All forgotten.

Pure or not?
Still restless, ever restless.
Has he forgotten?

Carbamazepine Dreams

And this adrenaline is what keeps her from falling off of the moon,
Keeps her from falling into the sea.
And she just got a whiff of something beautiful,
something broken.
Something fleeting, ghost-like, something soft-spoken.
And she clutches onto his memory like one might clutch a dying child,
As the sunsets slip beneath the stars strewn across the sky,
Unabashed and wild.
And her silhouette fades, conversing with the shadows,
And suddenly she begins to ache for the salty seduction of the ocean.
Burns to just let her sorrows dissolve in the murky waters.
Drowning seems so preferable to this, this
Eternity of carbamezepine dreams.
Firefly adversities that cling like fog to her cadaver, reeking excess.
It's nights like these she wishes to be swept away
On a wave of morphine and butterfly kisses
Engulfed in the breadth of a stranger’s saliva.
And she lusts after surrealistic notions of forever and yesterday
But is lost in the piercing convulsing traffic
Of her own compulsions.
So she takes a drag from her cigarette, her nightmarish worries
Turning charcoal in the filter.
Watches the nicotine cloud roll out of her nostrils and unfurl into the dusk.
She’s leaving.
She’s falling.
Disappearing.
Try and stop her from evaporating into the sunset.
And though she wants nothing more than to
Slip over the edge; plummet into some kind of indigo abyss,
She’s still stuck in a fourth floor apartment
New York in January.
Something keeps her pressed against the wall, glaring at the bottle of pills on the nightstand.
Glaring at the easy way out.
Because nothing's that easy,
The tide doesn’t steal your memory,
Erase your mangled body.
A thousand tiny tablets
A thousand tiny carbamezepine dreams
Won’t wash you away.
Not completely.

Heaven on Earth

I have been all around the world, in every corner
Searching heaven, but every place I went my life got colder
I have been going around like a stray dog
But I am not stray, just that heaven's door for me has been lost
I tried to find heaven in the life I have
But it was like getting married to your enemy
and trying to avoid sadness, and mistaking it for love and laughter
But ignoring wrong is bad for me
So I left the place where I belong
Actually I don't belong anywhere
Every place I went there was despair
Everywhere I went I wasn't treated like a person
I was treated by people whose ancestors were demons
I left that place and tried to find heaven in music
No one ever told me that even music can make you sick
It got me worried about the future
Where I couldn't live with music anymore
So sadly I had to leave that place because the environment grew bitter
My body left it but there I left my soul
I tried to ask God to be my guide
But he refused my offer, even he wasn't kind
I used to think that hell was dealt when you were bad and dead
But demons like us even turned Earth into it
It was like hell opened another franchise
and that hell got its hands on Earth before heaven
but it's us who allowed this brutal action
I laugh when people say life is wonderful
How can it be wonderful?
when hell has made it awful
Everywhere I went all I saw were unfulfilled desires
And as I kept walking, the sadness metre's number grew higher
On my way to the hunt for heaven
I saw many people like me, not a few but a dozen
who were unhappy with their lives
But sad thing is that few made it to their heaven by behaving like sharp knives
they turned into demons who tortured others
they also thought too much of themselves
But the saddest part is that I for a while became one of them
still that evil hasn't truly parted
But I know now that on that road I am not starting
Now I even have sore feet by walking on the dirt
Tried too hard but still can't find Heaven on Earth.

...The End

Before I could even begin,
Whatever that beginning may be,
The title itself announced
(Rather denounced)
the End of this...
...whatever this is...

...sadly this arrhythmical tale
(If it could be called a tale)
Has reached the middle
Without us even knowing
How this all began;
As I pondered in the beginning of this
What the beginning on any of this
Was
Or is
Or means...

...somehow this all started...
...somehow it sadly became the middle...
...yet without regret I can proudly say;
That in the confusion of this all,
That I have pondered upon the beginning;
The beginning of any thing...
...we somehow know how this will end;
A simple punctuation or a cliff-hanging blank,
But throughout the beginning and the middle
I have sat on the edge of this cliff;
Metaphorically speaking,
Thinking about the cliff hanger himself...
...his goal is to reach the top of the cliff...
...his end may be that he reaches the top...
...but how he began even I do not know...
...there's a mysterious beginning to every thing
(Even the end to this had a strange beginning)...
...the cliff will always be there
For an indefinite but powerful beginning
By the time we reach...
...the End

A Tight Grip

She grabs my hand
her sweaty palm licks my own.
We wait, huddled together in my tiny bedroom,
cluttered with old magazines, a stereo, a collection of books.
Her hazelnut eyes reach mine.
As silent tears pour down both of our faces
and as the screams get louder,
the voices get louder,
our hearts beat louder,
the screams and yells and tears and anger and hate
and the words I never thought would ever be said
I hate you
rolling in the pit of my stomach, threatening to come up to my mouth
to leak in a sideways slant onto the carpet.
I sneak a peek at the tiny little crack at the door,
as long arms move about furiously in talk, making a message to the other
words that are too loud for my sister’s ears ring in my own head
arguments that will never reach an ending point
as they race around and around furiously until it bursts and explodes
into tiny, millions of millions of pieces, cutting four different hearts separately.
I can feel the vibrations of the house
as words pour out of the sink and onto tiled floors,
accusations slashing through fabric like a sharp army knife.
I glance down at my sister,
Her big eyes even wider as she watches our family cut each other
with a thousand needles disguised into words.
Her hand grips mine tighter, tighter, until I cannot feel my own fingers
but I do not make a sound.

Absurdly Exquisite

Even the moon gets lost in her eyes
I am just a single star in her presence
Still looking my way out of the beautiful maze that lies
Following the line-less footsteps she left me by her fragrance
Sometimes I feel like my life is based on rolling the dice
Either climb up the ladder or slide down the snake in silence

I could imagine a perfect painting with her by my side
With fantasy magic all around
Where there are rainbows everywhere
and the frogs are turning into princes on the riverside
In which she is my Snow White and I bring her the glass shoe
Where the sun sets when she closes her eyes
and the breeze dances as she blinks
A place where dreams unwind and reality drowns
But this painting stays incomplete in this life; in this world

This world which itself doesn't know if it follows night after day
or day after night
That it shines sun on some crowds, while it rains on others by a shore
Now I stand under clouds not scared of getting wet as
"A wet person is not scared of getting wet anymore"

I do not want to leave you behind
Because it's not the end, it's the start
I don't wanna leave a bad memory in anyone's mind
But wanna leave a good memory in everyone's heart

Mom, Why Did You Do That to Me? (Review of Eminem's Song "Cleaning Out My Closet")

I have listened to this song many times
same as the video
I feel so sorry. I'm sorry about your life
I know you hated your mom when you were a kiddo
She was a stricken mother. She was always mad at you.
She dragged you out of your room as if you were a little puppy
"Why? Mom, I didn't do anything wrong!"
You just played with toys like every other kid did
You just wrote, "Happy Mother's Day!" to make your mom happy
"Mom, why did you do that to me?" you said.
"I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you, and I never meant to make you cry."
But tonight, you cleaned out your closet
"I'm afraid, afraid!"
You hid in the dark closet. "Mom, I'm afraid of you."
You felt like you hated your mom
"Why did you do that to make me hate you, Mom? I just want a life like other kids. My dad left me when I was a little baby. And he never contacted us anymore. It's all your fault, Mom. I don't really know my father."
After almost 30 years...
There was another song, Kill You
"When I was just a little baby boy, my momma used to tell me these crazy things... but then I got a little bit older, and I realized, she was the crazy one..."
"My childhood was full of lies and dipped in filthy memory," you said.
"But Mom, I just wonder why did you do that to me."

"Although I hated you or I hate you until now...
Mom, I love you!!!"

I know, Eminem, you were an unlucky kiddo in your childhood
The song Cleaning Out My Closet...
I repeat, listen, I'm sorry about your childhood that your mom ruined it at all...

Midnight Walk

Heavy breathing, and heavy heartbeat
Tonight it's a full moon, graceful light shines at me brightly,
The wind blows in a courteous manner
The perfect and romantic atmosphere covers us as if it's a blazer
The fragrance of the summer grass delights my nose
I become paralyzed because your hand to mine is so close
I take the daring step and look into your eyes
Speechless I become at the purity, they hold no lies
A devious breeze scatters your hair over your face
You pull them away with such grace
We exchange glances filled with attraction
The veil of silence is finally broken
Your melodious voice reaches my ear
But sadly you declare your house is near
I see you leave
My heart leaves too, you are a thief
The time flew by so fast I couldn't hear the tick tock
I didn't have the integrity to at least thank you for the Midnight Walk.