There comes a time in every relationship when it’s mutually established by both partners that it’s safe to introduce one another to your friends. This can be an intimidating situation for guys and girls alike, but keep in mind that this is not an initiation! Sure, she’ll corner her gal pals later that night and ask them for their verdict and he’ll find ways to subtly draw opinions out of his own buddies, but the tradition of gaining approval of your relationships from friends seems to blow the introduction stage ridiculously out of proportion.
Laura C. Freeborn, a guidance counsellor at Lord Beaverbrook High School in Calgary, encourages teens to keep it simple. “Don’t be nervous; be excited!” she advises. “Remember: If you really like your boyfriend/girlfriend, then your friends will too! Have confidence in your new relationship.”
The first meeting is not the time to show off your partner’s list of achievements – it’s not an interview or interrogation. And Freeborn reminds us that the introduction should take place when you are both most at ease. “When your boyfriend/girlfriend first meets your friends in person, decide together whether individual meetings or as a larger group is best. What are you both comfortable with? What do you think your friends would prefer?”
If your boyfriend or girlfriend feels awkward about meeting your friends, help open up the conversation. Alternatively, if your partner seems to be too forward with your friends, don’t feel uneasy or embarrassed. Odds are they’re only trying to charm your friends.
Additionally, try not to ignore your partner or your friends during this first meeting. Split your focus and pay equal attention to both. But, most of all, the key to giving your friends a favourable impression of your relationship is to be happy. The introduction is a hard thing to get through, but the worst thing you can do is be uncomfortable about it. If your friends notice that you’re at ease and happy with this relationship, chances are they’ll be quicker to mark your sweetheart off as someone who is ultimately good for you.
In the end, keep calm – you’re already dating! For you to call off the relationship because of one sour judgment from a close friend speaks volumes about you – it shows a lack of independence and little to no capacity to trust your own judgment. When you compare the two impressions, remember yours is based on spending time with your partner and getting to know them while your friends’ opinions are only instincts and first impressions. If your relationship is the real deal, you friends will come around soon enough.Login or register to post comments. All comments have to go through a queue for approval to keep the nasty stuff out, but we'll post yours as soon as we can.