Barbara Walters: A Fascinating List Consisting of Odd Characters

Every year, a list comes out that has baffled great minds, boggled the whole media industry and has most of the American public nodding in unison. This list is compiled together by one of the world’s top-notch journalists: she’s blonde, she’s articulate and she’s a geriatric — she’s none other than, Barbara Walters.

I don’t ever think that Barbara Walters has ever made a Most Fascinating People list that the populace of pop culture seems to agree on; it’s very much hit and miss. But did that change this year? An adamant “Heck, No!” would be the right answer. For Barbara Walters’ Most Fascinating People of 2009, it was - suffice to say - an eclectic fustercluck ranging from A-list celebrities to random nobodies. Here are this year’s Most Fascinating People of 2009 (in no particular ranking):

Lady Gaga
Gay rights activist? Check. Supporter of avant-garde and haute couture? Check. This woman can do no wrong in my eyes.

Adam Lambert
Apparently wearing eyeliner makes you fascinating, I’m fine with that, but trying to compete with GaGa during the AMAs by way of distasteful crotch grabbing is unforgivable. He didn’t even win American Idol! Pass.

Sarah Palin
She was this close to becoming the Vice-President of the United States—yeah, over my dead body.

Michael Jackson's Children
It was so unusual hearing them speak, or even seeing them without veils or cloaks engulfing their faces. Their father died during the middle of preparation for a worldwide concert tour—my heart is almost breaking from the loss. And they have become almost millionaires, under the age of fourteen. Fascinating.

Kate Gosselin
Why is this woman on the list for? She has not one commendable quality about her: she is neglectful toward her eight children; she holds true to the meaning of a hypocrite; not to mention she’s sporting a terrible hairstyle that I’m sure many middle aged mothers out there decided to emulate, to be hip, with it, and coolio. Ugh, I can already hear people’s eyes rolling to the back of their heads, like a concrete maker.

Glenn Beck
An American radio and television host, author, conservative political commentator and entrepreneur. His shows have been described as a mix of moral lessons with an apocalyptic view of the future that captures the feelings of an alienated class of Americans. As far as I’m concerned, I’m not American; ignorance truly is bliss.

Brett Favre
American quarterback, for the Minnesota Vikings. He made his 500th career touchdown this year! Okay, I’m not into sports but this sounds like he deserves the praise he’s getting. Kudos to you Mr. Favre!

Jenny Sanford
After the Governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, admitted to having an affair with an Argentinian woman, his wife, Jenny Sanford makes the clear choice of divorcing him. She has since then carried on her life courageously, by moving out of the mansion with her children, to a family home on an island. If getting through a public divorce lands you on this list, seriously, where are the other 50% of couples with failed marriages on this list? Oh right, there’s Kate.

Tyler Perry
An American actor, director, screen writer, producer, and author. Surely anyone who could interpret Sapphire’s poignant novel onto the big screen while staying true to the plot, and making it as depressing and as tear jerking as ever, is amazing in my standards. Plus, Push the movie that Perry directed, has been given the seal of approval by Oprah—Oprah will always equal fascinating, riveting, amazing, etc.

So there, ladies and gentlemen are your Most Fascinating People of 2009.