Make It and Break It

I hate how you have the power to make or break my day,
How you don’t realize that with every word,
You’re really breaking me.
I hate how I worry about hurting you,
Just as much as you’re hurting me
The despair and confusion tears us all apart.
If this is supposed to make people happy, why am I so miserable?
Laying awake, wondering and contemplating about what to do,
What I did wrong and whether I screwed things up before they even began.
I hate how much you mean to me,
And how I’ve come to depend on talking to you.
I’ve never been one to trust, and everything I say turns to regret,
Scared that you might betray me just like everyone else.
I hate myself, for not being able to trust, and living in paranoia all my life.
I hate how I think I’ve gotten over you,
But then something happens and it’s back to where I started.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this, wasn’t supposed to get this far,
And it’s like with every word I say, I just bury myself into a deeper and deeper hole.
It’s hard
I hate it,
And you know what, even if I could, I wouldn’t take anything back, even though,
I hate how much I like you.