Addiction Decreased

Translucent fingers hail against the flesh of my palm
I perceive your ever-changing face
You sway to the wind that forces itself against me
Hands grasped around soft, rusty coal
You lie to me
You hold a facade as high as Jericho's walls
“No other force shall prevail”
Negative thoughts = negative feelings = negative actions
A corrupted young mind,
A mischievous demeanour taken
You want to change
Suddenly,
The demon sprints forward,
You’ve escaped, away you already are
Silence is your loudest sound
He hauls you back,
Your attempts to strangle, defy and force
him away are useless
You shatter the glass of a heart that you clutched onto
The steel fence is gone,
A cycle that never stops triumphs
Blunts are planted in your pocket that you ‘forgot’ to throw out
You’ve wandered into an otherworldly realm; you forget how to be human
Your Novocain’s worn off
The numbness has subsided
Your facade no longer exists
You confront yourself
But the addiction and fire cascade
Words are repentantly exchanged
Your desire to recuperate remains untouched
You shriek for answers, your disbelief in your ability
to change wins
A demon you let in,
A monster that you allowed to live
What happened? (You don't know)
You cannot accept your wrongs
“I don't hurt.” (as much)
Loose hands (fists tight)
Heart of steel? (you bleed fear)
At last and finally,
After countless wasted years,
You now hold courage as high as Jericho's walls.
Countless forces have prevailed
You don't hurt. (at all)
Loose hands (Relaxed arms)
A heart of steel? (A heart of silk)
Touch skin with your eyes closed
Ride your bike with training wheels on
The end of your beginning.